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20131202
20131210
Search Results 0 to 9 of about 10 (some duplicates have been removed)
in on those sweet benefits. just ask secretary of defense and man who was crying just before you walked in, chuck hagel. >> when the supreme court issued its decision on the defense of marriage act this summer, the department of defense immediately began working on providing same benefits, same benefits to all eligible spouses, regardless of sexual orientation. we did it because everyone who serves our country in uniform, everyone in this country, should receive all the benefits they deserve and they've earned. >> stephen: folks, these benefits just encourage the destructive gay hook-up culture. meeting your spouse in some windowless back room to provide hot, sweaty dental coverage. thankfully, one brave state, oklahoma, is fighting to remain okla-hetero. its constitution already bans same-sex marriage. otherwise, oklahoma would be a gay mecca. think of all the things they have to offer the gays-- the musical... that's it. ( applause ) so oklahoma did the right thing and took away some rights. jim? >> the national guard has stopped processing same-sex couples benefits after getting an ord
's not easy. now sure, the 113th hasn't passed a bills every congress does like a highway bill or defense bill or farm bill or a budget. but i mean what do we need a budget for. clearly not for highways, defense. or food, they did pass a bill ensuring people can fish on dams near the cumberland river and passed deep cuts in food stamps for the poor which is good solid governing because the poor don't need food stamps any more now that they can fish near dams on the cumberland river. remember, remember the old saying, give a man a fish will eat for a day. take away his food stamps, maybe he won't. (laughter) and folks, i'm excited-- i'm so excited to have others report that there's been an even bigger bipartisan achievement. >> congress is about to shell out $55 million to pay for retirement benefits for a group of chimpanzees. the 300 chimps are part of a research testing facility who are being sent to a habitat in louisiana to live out the rest of their lives. the money will be used to provide the animals with housing, food and medical care. >> stephen: that's right. the government is paying
anti-government protests breaking out in ukraine, attack on the defense ministry in yes men, thousands of fast food workers on strike across hundreds of cities in the united states, so we dive right in and read some viewer mail. >> folks, got a big file right here. our first letter tonight comes to us on actual paper. dear stephen, which power is better, flight or invisibility? i am asking for a friend. sincerely, stephen colbert, but not you. that's nice, steven, i recognize my own handwriting. okay, let's settle this one, for once and all, obviously flight and invisibility have big pros and cons. flight, problematic because i am scared of heights, but so is invisibility, because i am scared of people not noticing me. so that's a tie. one point each. now let's talk the economics of the situation. the most recent superman grossed $291 million at the box office but the "lord of the rings" grossed 377 million. clearly, the market says invisibility, not to mention, the invisible hand of the market is invisible. double win for invisibility, two invisible thumbs up. >> now, as long -- [ che
, national defense, insurance, education and social security are -- panties. damn it! damn it! that is, this is impossible. just try appealing to the gays. i don't think they have any women. ill be will be avo: this holiday tech the halls and ring in the savings with a free $50 online visa when you buy a phone get great deals on the best phones at radioshack >> welcome back, everybody. my guest tonight is the president and ceo of the ford motor company. we'll see if he really is like a rock. please welcome alan mulally! [ cheers and applause ] hey! >> thanks for coming out. >> stephen: all right. fantastic. great to have you on. you are the presidency of the ford motor company, just like you are an icon of american capitalism:congratulations! congratulations. >> thank you. >> did you dream of running a car company when you were a kid. >> what did you do before then? >> i started out as a bag checker. >> stephen: a bag checker? >> yes. ththe at the grocery store. >> stephen: really? did you want to be the ceo of bag checkers? >> no. i didn't. but i loved serving people. >> stephen: now
Search Results 0 to 9 of about 10 (some duplicates have been removed)